Dear Diary #1: Is This Writing Life Really For Me?

Dear diary,

I know I said I would never again doubt myself and my ability to become a proficient writer and storyteller. Because as long as I keep putting in the work — learning and practicing the craft daily — it will definitely happen.

I have a story to tell, and I know I have what it takes to tell it well.

I know I said I would never give room to Miss Critic — who only exists in my head by the way — and shut her up every time she tries to make me feel inadequate by criticising my work or questioning my growth process.

I know I said I wouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes, either would I be scared of failing, because they are part of the process I need to undergo to get to where I want to be.

The day I spoke to Wole about creating this blog, I thought I was ready to put myself out there and share my writings with all who care to read. I thought I was ready to receive criticism and feedback because we can’t overemphasize their importance in the growth of any creative.

But, right now, I feel anything but ready. I’ve been plagued with inferiority complex and impostor syndrome since forever. And it isn’t getting any better, despite the fact that my writing has improved tremendously over time.

Inferiority complex is an unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behaviour in compensation. Click To Tweet

It doesn’t matter how hard I worked to ensure that my articles are error free as much as possible, I always get nervous about hitting publish and I am even more nervous about promoting my works; especially, to people who know me personally.

Why do I feel that my grammatical errors are so glaring, it’s all that my readers see? Even when there are clearly no grammatical errors!

Do you sometimes experience inferiority complex as a writer? How do you overcome it? What’s your biggest challenge as a creative? Click To Tweet

Why do I feel like none of my work is worth sharing? That when I talked about my near-rape experience, I sounded somewhat dumb, even though some persons reached out to me to share their similar experiences as a result of that single post.

Why do I feel like when I talked about being single and celibate, I sounded very lonely and honey? Even when I know that isn’t the case.

Why do I feel like when I talked about why I wasn’t going to date my friend, I sounded so pained? Even though, deep down, I know it was God who stopped me from making the same mistake I made with my ex.

Why do I feel like every time I talked about meeting the right person, I sound so desperate? Even though It isn’t true.

Why can’t I read my old blog posts without feeling nervous?

Do other writers feel this way at one point or the other in their writing careers? Or is this writing life really not for me? Should I find something else to do? But what can I do though? Writing is all that speaks to my soul right now. If only the impostor syndrome and inferiority complex can just go away.

Here’s why I am quitting blogging... Click To Tweet

If you didn’t see another blog post from me, know that I was tired of feeling like a bad writer so I quit. But, if I did write again, it will be to put Miss Critic in her rightful place.

Hopefully, I get the courage to do that soon…

P:S: I would love to hear from other writers and bloggers, especially those who might have battled inferior complex and impostor syndrome. I need all the encouragement I can get right now. Because I’m feeling like the world’s worst writer ever. And that can’t be true, right?

7 thoughts on “Dear Diary #1: Is This Writing Life Really For Me?

  1. Girl, I don’t think quitting is the right thing to do,fight the criticism,keep writing and keep improving.most of this top bloggers didn’t just get it at once.

  2. Quitting is for losers and that’s not who you are. Besides, who said you are a bad writer? I love reading your blog. I always look forward to your next blog post.

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